- Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems.
- In order to be considered bullying, the behavior must be aggressive and include:
- An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power-such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity-to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.
- Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.
There are 3 types of bullying:
- Verbal bullying is saying or writing mean things. Verbal bullying includes:
- Teasing
- Name-calling
- Inappropriate sexual comments
- Taunting
- Threatening to cause harm
- Social bullying, sometimes referred to as relational bullying, involves hurting someone's reputation or relationships. Social bullying includes:
- Leaving someone out on purpose
- Telling other children not to be friends with someone
- Spreading rumors about someone
- Embarrassing someone in public
- Whispering in front of someone to make them uncomfortable
- Physical bullying involves hurting a person's body or possessions. Physical bullying includes:
- Hitting/kicking/pinching
- Spitting
- Tripping/pushing
- Taking or breaking someone's things
- Making mean or rude hand gestures
- When is it friendly, and when is it teasing?
FRIENDLY PLAYING
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VS
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HURTFUL TEASING
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equal power between friends
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vs
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imbalance of power between friends
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neutral topic
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vs
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sensitive topic
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purpose is to play and smile
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vs
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purpose is to upset someone else
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funny
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vs
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sarcastic
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everyone is included
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vs
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someone is excluded
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Additional helpful resources for children and parents:
- www.stopbullying.gov
- http://www.stopbullying.gov/kids/what-you-can-do/index.html
- What To Do...When Kids Are Mean To Your Child, by Elin McCoy
- Best Friends, Worse Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children, by Michael Thompson
- A Smart Girl's Guide to Friendship Troubles: an American Girl book, by Patti Kelly Criswell
- Hot Issues, Cool Choices: Facing Bullies, Peer Pressure, Popularity, and Put-downs, by Sandra MacLeod Humphrey
- Stick Up for Yourself: Every Kid's Guide to Personal Power & Positive Self-Esteem,by Gershen Kaufman
- My Secret Bully, by Trudy Ludwig
- One, by Kathryn Otoshi
- Zero, by Kathryn Otoshi
- Just Kidding, by Trudy Ludwig
- The Juice Box Bully: Empowering Kids to Stand Up For Others, by Bob Sornson